Sunday, June 6, 2010


I have to write this because if I don't I'm going to explode so please excuse me for being rude and arrogant but someone has to say this.
There are so many people out there at the moment who are claiming to be 'Directors' and 'Producers' that, put simply, are complete idiots.
All they do is whine about how crap everything is and that they can't get any support or government funding so they have to resort to acting like complete dick heads. Blah Blah Blah.
Get over yourselves! You are not even a zit on a real Directors/Producers arse.
You think that you can ask me to work for no money or deferred payment (which never happens) in substandard conditions and live in a shanty town on set where I have to bunk up with smelly wankers because we can't have a decent shower, I have to live on bloody 'subway' for weeks and take a dump in the nearest public restroom.
Get it together you pack of losers!
Just because you are living in a fantasy world of making pretentious little films for no money that are never going to be released and acting as though it's like a fun little school camp, doesn't mean you are in any way going to compete with real films, with real budgets and real professionals involved.
I had one little producer tell me that “Until the government is going to fund his little genre flicks that he has two options, one, to keep pushing shit up a hill or two, get a 9 – 5 job and wait until some viable opportunity comes his way”.
Well sweetheart,
1.The government will give you funding the day you prove to them that you have a commercially viable project – not some half arsed amateur art house crap which nobody wants to see.
2.Until such time you are definitely only “pushing shit up a hill” and you should refer to yourself as a “shit pusher”.
3.Instead of waiting for a viable opportunity to come your way how about you use your supposed creative intellect and entrepreneurial skills to create one yourself and maybe think that a 9 – 5 job is your answer to any money woes.
(Or how about you actually complete the two films you have already shot, sell them, pay the money you are owing to cast and crew then do it again and again until you actually have some decent capital.)
I had another silly little part time “producer” tell me that “the Australian Film Industry is only a cottage Industry and that until it changes there is nothing she can do”. She also said that “she supports the Industry the best way she can by allowing people the opportunity to showcase their skills”.
What a f%@#ing joke!!
The reason this Industry is this way, is because of complacent little users like you.
Try making the change yourself by acting like a professional and treating other professionals with respect and paying them what they deserve.
You are not supporting the Industry by using slave labour and you are not showcasing their skills if you are producing amateur crap that is only going to end up half edited and collecting dust in the Directors cupboard.
No wonder the Australian Film Industry is absolute bull shit at the moment with angry little wankers like this at the helm.

Big breath...

...calm blue ocean...

There, I said it.

I feel better now. :)